This is not to say that a boss should not be friendly with everyone. However, familiarity breeds contempt. The closer you are to people the more difficult it can be for them to take direction, criticism, and correction.
Everyone likes to be liked. Well, almost everyone. There are those who seem to enjoy being a pain. They get a kick out of causing pain to other people - and I don't just mean dentists. (Little Shop of Horrors reference.) I am not talking about the difficult boss or the boss who enjoys being difficult. I am talking about the person who genuinely feels that they are not successful unless everyone is their friend.
There is a big difference between being respected or admired, and being a friend or pal... Consider the ability to speak freely that you have with your true friends. A boss cannot always do that with staff or direct reports. There are things that cannot and should not be shared with everyone. Perceived weakness can undermine authority, morale, or momentum. When everyone looks to a leader to lead, they do not want to see a person who cannot take charge of their own affairs.
Would you want to be in the same line at the bookstore for hours waiting to buy the next Harry Potter book with your boss? If your boss asked to be one of your Skyblog, Bebo, Facebook, MySpace, or LinkedIn friends would you do it? If you found a YouTube video, Flickr, Photobucket or whatever site with pictures of your boss dancing, would you share it with pride or get a good laugh? Do you read your boss' Twitter updates? Does your boss read yours? Do you want them to?
I enjoy time with people who work with me. I also know that they need time away from me. Time where they can feel they are not being watched or evaluated. If they need to vent about me they can and should. I would prefer that they bring problems to me that bother them but I know that it is not always a comfortable thing. Maybe they need to see if they are the only one who feels that way. Whatever the reason, people who work for you should be able to peaceably assemble to let their hair down.
I am a big believer in CEO group meetings. I think CEOs need time to vent their frustrations and concerns in a place where they are not being watched as closely. I will say that watching company presidents, CEO, and other senior management dance does remove some measure of respect. Perhaps that is why they drink so much at those functions. Everyone wants to forget and just move on with life.
I also think that private life is important. It is good to have some distance from a company or employees. It helps to leave work at work. It also makes change a bit easier. I often say, "Don't hire someone you can't fire." This is easier said than done but it is easier if you are not too close.
Disagree? Let's hear about it...
Comment Preview