Does anyone like to be told no? Good salespeople do. Little kids seem to be very good at doing things that prompt them to hear a no. In any deal, "no" should be said several times. I was taught that if you are not willing to say no, and push away from the table, you are probably leaving money on the table.
The mistake people make is not pushing hard enough to get to a no. They want to play nice and be win-win. I'm all for win-win, but not if it really means win-lose because I was afraid to ask. I like to play nice, but I don't want to rollover and play dead. I recommend Roger Dawson's Power Negotiating if you need help with this.
Push me as much as you think you can...
If you do not ask for the order, how can you expect to make any sales? I love the emails I get from authors where it says "Buy my book!" in their signature. We should expect nothing less from someone who has worked so hard.
In the same sense that I used when talking about dealing with workplace confrontations - if you are afraid to have the conversation, then you need to have that conversation. If you are afraid to ask for the order, then you need to ask for the order. If they say no, then you need to learn why. Change what needs to be changed and keep asking for orders.
We tell our kids, "no" when they have gone beyond a boundary they may not even know about. It's the same in selling and negotiations. We should not react too strongly when we hear it, and we should not be afraid to say it. It's only personal if you did something to make it personal.
On occasion, we may go too far and the other person does not allow us to step-back what then?
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