Every Company Needs a Good Map

Have you ever noticed how some people just have to tell you every thing in their life? It is not that I don't care, I just don't want to know everything about other people. Some things are best kept private. Such as:

1) Grooming habits - as long as you have them and you use them daily I think that is enough for people to know. How you clean your ears or other areas is really not valuable information. A lesson from Miss Manners is helpful in this regard.

2) Diseases you have had - unless you are currently contagious, in which case you should be at home, I don't think anyone else needs to know that in most cases. If it is some affliction that has long-term effects that is different. If it is not contageous but the effects can be disabling that is also important for others to know. If you have an STD, Montezuma's Revenge, and so on...keep it to yourself, figuratively and literally.

3) Cute baby bodily function stories - I'm sure it was funny at the time. You probably had to have been there to appreciate the moment. I have changed my share of diapers and the memories fade but not so much that they need to be refreshed. If you need some information on this area, perhaps the 411 on baby poop will be useful. (Isn't Google searching great! How did mothers learn this stuff before?)

4) How much you over-indulge - Not many people want to heat about how much  you drank, ate, or amused yourself last night, weekend, or on your vacation. This kind of disclosure does not increase my admiration of you. The same goes for the things you buy in many cases. Not to leave Yahoo out of the mix, here is a post on how to recover from an eating binge from Yahoo Food.

5) What you keep in your freezer - I am not making this up. There was a VP at a company I did some work with who thought it was interesting to tell people he kept a dead cat in his freezer. If you knew him, you would be inclined to believe this was true. I am not sure why he felt this was useful information but he did. So, if you have a dead animal in your freezer - just keep that to yourself. There is no link here but perhaps a donation to PETA would help us all feel better. Besides, it appears that poor Pam Anderson (no relation) needs some more clothes.

This list is not meant to say people are unwilling to get to know you. It's just that there are some bits of personal information that are best kept to yourself or shared in a more casual setting. Some examples of casual settings: bars, campfires, prison cells, or in the case of baby issues - a changing room or Thanksgiving dinner.

Why do people share this kind of information? They must being trying to help you get to know them. So, when confronted with a line of discussion that you can see is going into dangerous territory, try asking some questions about the person that you would like to know. Maybe you can start with upbringing. Was it cold where you were raised? Did you date much in college? When was the last time you felt really uncomfortable during a conversation? (Don't ask what the topic was!) 

We all want to be understood, to belong, and to participate (see Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs). Occasionaly we have to help others do so in an appropriate fashion. Instead of walking away, try being helpful. It's not like all of your stories are topical and relevant. The atmosphere of a confined space can seem very unpleasant if you do not know the people around you. Get to know them and help them get to know the better side of your personality. Keep the other stuff for your MySpace page, a YouTube video, or blog post...

As always, your thoughts are welcome. Perhaps we can build a much longer list and make a Squidoo lens out of it.