Every Company Needs a Good Map

Wendy Piersall had a very thought provoking post yesterday. Racism in Business - How Do You Handle it?  Hugh Hollowell's response on A Politically Incorrect Entrepreneur - Dealing With A Racist, is also quite good.

I started to respond on Hugh's site and realized my response was going to be too long and have a few links in it so I am posting it here instead.

I like the Crucial Confrontations / Crucial Conversations books by Patterson et al. at VitalSmarts. Not just for this situation but form many situations. One of the first things they teach is that if you are afraid to speak then you need to speak. These books can help you do that.

There is always a tendency to assume the worst motive behind someone's actions. They call it "telling ourselves a story". The trouble is we usually tell ourselves a bad one. They suggest that first we try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Try to imagine a good reason the other person did what they did.

The phrase - All that is needed for evil to conquer is for good men to do nothing - comes to mind. I was not sure who said this so I went looking for the source and stumbled upon a great page - "A study of a Web quotation" by Martin Porter from January 2002. He highlights the many versions of Edmund Burke's famous but oft-misquoted phrase. Perhaps reading just a few of those versions will help it sink in deeper.

Getting back to the "Crucial Confrontation" issue - it is important that the matter be handled in the right place at the right time. Those who offend openly are often chastised openly as well. In some cases, this may be appropriate or critical. If you are not in a position to call this person in to discuss the matter or if people in the room are now on edge perhaps now is the time. If it can wait until there can be a one on one meeting to discuss things where it will not embarrass the person then wait. Is this letting them get away with something? Maybe. More likely it will enable change to occur rather than defensiveness.

The bottom line from Patterson et al. is that we need to decide what we want the relationship we have with this person to be after the conversation. If we don't care, then let the dogs of war fly. If we want it to be better, then we need to consider how we can do that. Make it clear to that person that this conversation is intended to strengthen the relationship. That what should come out of it is a better both of you. Reduce or eliminate fear, defensiveness, and power struggles. There is no need to backdown or give in and allow such behavior to continue or be repeated. This should be made clear once the common goal is in sight. If there is no agreement on a common goal for the future of the relationship then chances are there will be no way to deal with the issue beyond your expressing disappointment and disagreement.

Wendy and Hugh, that's my two cents.